It's too bad the name "Fail Blog" is already taken otherwise I would adopt the moniker for this one.

Just sayin'...

Wedding in three and a half weeks. Gross. Is it too late to cancel and make a quick jaunt to city hall instead? My cousin and his girlfriend had the right idea. Blast me and my desire to be wed in the forest!!!

Here's hoping I survive the next 25 days relatively unscathed emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Nothing like throwing a party for your 80 nearest and dearest to hurl one into a tizzy.

If I Just Dress in White....

I was never the type to think up my dream wedding. In fact it didn't even cross my mind until my then boyfriend (now fiance) was the best man at his best friend's wedding last July. I'd never been to a wedding of two good friends and peers before so I guess it hit close to home. Seeing him up there all suited up and really hot didn't help much either :P

So however little I thought about my dream wedding before I thought even less about the Dress. I love wearing dresses and own several *however* I am not an inherently fancy person and am likely to not purchase something if it requires more care than "machine wash, hang dry." The prospect of spending THOUSANDS of dollars on a fancy garment that I will wear for one day -and not even a whole day at that- makes me queasy and uncomfortable.

Wedding dresses are not for me.

I thought I had it all figured out when I found a beautiful creation on etsy.com. For the uninitiated it's the best website in the world... a community of artisans and crafters who sell their handmade masterpieces in individual online shops. It had everything I could ever want in a dress.... pockets! And the price... a paltry $265 USD. OH MAN if only I could just order this dress and never set foot in a bridal boutique.

I had made up my mind on the dress. I was going to buy it. It was beautiful, practical, custom, handmade, independantly designed, AND I could totally get more than 8 hours of wear out of it! And as far as wedding dresses are concerned, $265 is NOTHING.

Then I started feeling guilty about spending so much money on one arcticle of clothing. It is, afterall, just a dress. Just something to wear. And with the exchange rate being what it is plus shipping costs maybe it wouldn't end up being all that inexpensive.

So I scoured the internet for alternatives. My criteria: pockets, white-ish, and less than $265. And can you believe it, I found success! A J.Crew white-ish dress with pockets for $128! AND!!! Machine washable! Holy moly, matrimony!!!! (It shipped today. How exciting!!!)

When I told my mom I had ordered the dress she was visibly disappointed... not with the selection but that I did it without her. [SIDE NOTE: I'm sorry... When I have my mind set to do something, I do it as soon as possible. When I decided that I would order the dress why wait? What if I didn't like it and had to return it? The sooner the better, I say. Especially since we're fast approaching le grand jour.] Really, I should have been more sensitive regarding the whole dress thing. It's not a big deal to me, but it may be a big deal to some people close to me.

So it looks like I'm going dress shopping afterall. Not to buy anything, of course, as nothing in those shops will be within our budget but the experience would make my mom happy. And who knows, maybe I'll get a free lunch out of it.

THE LAZARUS BLOG

'Cause I'm back from the dead. Everlasts comin' back from the dead. You know I'm back from the dead. Yoyohanna in effect, 'nuff said! Back from the dead!!!!

Whooooooooooooooa....

It's been a while, sorry. So here's the scoop: I stopped caring about having a public online presence. I still don't really care but to tell you the truth I need an outlet. This blog provided an outlet for me for years; a place for catharsis and self-examination which gave me the opportunity to re-read my posts with an outside perspective and gain insight to what I'm actually feeling. Like a diary but public and accessible from any computer with internet. Oh, and no "IF YOU READ THIS MAY YOUR TONGUE GROW FUR."

I think now, especially, I'm in some serious need of perpetual perspective. Too often I can feel my feet lifting off the ground, my head light and spinning. I know what you are thinking, where is this world where feet fly and heads spin??? It is the world of WEDDING PLANNING.

YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!! Ls;lfskdjflsf shfi;easlasdflakdsjf sie df.....

I'm so so so so excited about marriage but this "wedding" thing that precedes it might be the death of me, sorry future husband!!! "I now pronounce you... DEAD!?!??!" Wow, that would suck.

Please be assured: this is not a wedding blog. They are partially responsible for instigating my insanity in the first place! It's just that I remember a time when writing in this blog was a positive activity for me and made my brain make sense so I'm gonna chase that feeling.

On an unrelated note: it's snowing where I am and the city is in the depths of despair. It's very appropriate to have a snowfall warning of 1-5 cm here. I miss the rain and 7C temperatures. WEST COAST 4 LYFE.

Like to a flame

Alas!
They were to no avail, my attempts of reconstruction,
But of course!
Such a unique look is not accomplished so easily.
Bits of legs confuse themselves with my lashes,
Removed tape,
a second skin,
took my first with it.

My flit plot,
a requirement for unwilling participants,
(I did not think they'd mind)
But the moths doth protest too much.
THE CARNAGE that ensued
for the sake of beauty,
bits of legs,
and raw skin.

Unforeseen and eye-batted
away were the consequences.
Tunnel vision
blacked out
everything but.
The image of the lashes
like moths
aflame
was all I could see.

My left eye,
due to the remnants of the second skin,
stays closed
blacked out.
Perspective is only found
when no one is looking.

Some people just are not meant to have moths for eyelashes.

Curse you, Tamlin! Curse you and your mothlashes!!!

'Cause I feel GREAT

I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth

But in October I'll be putting out the silverware.

Oct 3: Gordon Lightfoot

Oct 8: the Who

There IS a cure for the summertime blues afterall!!

soundtrack:
the Who- Live at Leeds

Death letter?

My internet browser of choice is Mozilla.

That said, I randomly typed what was on my mind in the url field, y'know, where the web address usually goes, and pressed enter... and encountered surprising results.


"Dear a&b sound, you guys are whack. If you keep cutting my hours I'll quit, biatches."

[enter]

what the... ?

check it out.

soundtrack:
Son House- the Original Delta Blues

I remember when I lost my mind.

So who's out of the loop?

JIZZ-OH!!! holla.

No, seriously... I don't even know what day it is! Well, now I do having just watched LOST, but if not for TV, my friends, I would be clueless. I've got my Grey's Anatomy on Sundays (and the former glory of Arrested Development, R.I.P), Lost and Models on Wednesdays, and the Office on Thursdays! It's a nice barebones structure of my week... Oh heaven help me how will I get through the summer without my regularly scheduled programming?

Speaking of the Office... 'twas the season finale last week. Admittedly, I can get pretty into tv shows... the X-Files, Law & Order, Dead Like Me, and, of course, Arrested Development... and sometimes, if I am so inclined, I'll make an ordeal of viewing it! You may remember that earlier this year I threw a LOST party of epic, plane-crashing proportions. It was, and I quote (myself), "Awesome." So I implore you!!! How could I resist not throwing an OFFICE PARTY?!

Answer: I didn't! Resist, that is. (It was futile.)

The party was so awesomely budget. Nothing exotic about it at all! ... ripple chips, ranch dip, some carrots and celery sticks, you know... store brand pop. and OF COURSE a sheet (ice cream) cake. I really wanted to get something written on it like, "GREAT HUSTLE THIS YEAR, TEAM!" but the Safeway I went to didn't have a proper bakery. So I bought icing and wrote something myself... "MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP". It's a reference to a hilarious episode of the Office about --get this-- an office party! Formal invitations went out via office memo.

What, you didn't get the memo? I'll have another copy sent to your desk, so if you could go right ahead and read it and wish you were there, yeeeeeeah, that would be great.

Seriously though, if I hadn't been the one sending out the "memos" I probably would've missed it myself!

Yeah, I'm out of touch.

Soundtrack:
Gnarls Barkley- St. Elsewhere

Meu Mundo é Hoje!

Today's word: FLAN.

Not only is it fun to say and think about, but it's also fun to eat! Flantastic! High fives all around.

So does anybody know a good FLAN recipe? I'm thinking FLAN party! Awesome.

*

Sigur Ros. Seattle. Tomorrow. Can I get a WHUT-WHUT!?

Can I ever!

*

These past couple of days have left me feeling rather accomplished. Actually doing something -ANYTHING- on a day off is a feat in and of itself, let alone something productive. So, pat on my back!

But for now, I have a whole lot of nothing to catch up on.

Soundtrack:
V/A Putumayo- Samba Bossa Nova

Bully of the Town

Now, there are certain things in life that will always be great comfortors. Heck, even people, too. The mere presence of these nouns -whatever, whoever, wherever they may be- during times of distress will immediately begin to reverse the effects of negativity in all forms.

Case in point: High Fidelity.

Top 5 comfortors (in order of effectiveness):
5. (tie) That Thing You Do!
5. (tie) High Fidelity
4. playing piano (a verb, not a noun, I know, but this is my list so go right ahead and bugger off)
3. the blues
2. Kirstin
1. My Mom

"That is perverse. Do not tell ANYONE you don't own f***ing 'Blonde on Blonde'! ... It's gonna be OK."

Probably one of the best movies ever made.

Soundtrack:
Instrumental Music of the Southern Appalachains

Snatch a piece of my wonderin'

Should I go to sleep? ....probably.

Am I tired? I can't even tell anymore. I'm just bored, really. Story of my life.

I need a new hobby. Maybe I'll learn how to play the autoharp. Or perhaps the lapsteel? I chatted up the nicest gent at L&M the other week about one. Doesn't look too complicated. Open chords or some odd such, kind of like the banjo. Perhaps I should take up the banjo again? But that's not really a *new* hobby.

My left handed writing is coming along really well. As in, I can do it. So, that's cool. I can check that one off the list. It's still a bit awkward, but what isn't these days, eh? haha. yeah.

Mercy, I am bored. and simply itching to play some music. If only it wasn't after 3:30 in the morning....

soundtrack:
Gorillaz- Demon Days

Playing tag with girls has always ruled

Stever has tagged me to complete a list of fours:

FOUR JOBS I’VE HAD
1. Burger King. They stuck me in the back making fries for the three months I worked there because... I kid you not... I didn't smile enough.
2. Kids IQ Centre. Creative Writing instructor.
3. I played double bass one summer for Theatre Under the Stars' production of "the King and I"
4. a&b sound represent. music&movies and cash.

FOUR MOVIES/SHOWS I’VE BEEN ADDICTED TO:
1. the X-Files (series and movie)
2. Arrested Development
3. Dead Like Me
4. Lost

FOUR PLACES I’VE LIVED:
1. Toronto, ON
2. Recife, Brazil
3. Sao Paulo, Brazil
4. Vangroover, BC

FOUR COUNTRIES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:
1. Finland
2. Brazil
3. France
4. UK

FOUR POPULAR FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME:
1. I'm older than them
2. this isn't my real hair colour
3. I work here (here being any retail store I happen to be in ever, seriously)
4. I hate you 'cause I don't talk to you. I probably don't.

FOUR PEOPLE I LOOK LIKE (according to some people):
1. My mom
2. My sister
3. My other sister
4. Reese Witherspoon

FOUR THINGS (I HOPE) TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. Tour all over the place at least a dozen or so times
2. Have kids
3. Achieve full eccentricity status
4. get caught up in my sleep (I can do that when I die)
4. live to tell numerous stories of incalculable adventures

PEOPLE I TAG NEXT:
- Kirstin
- Melinda
- the Edge
- Gadzooks! who hasn't done this yet?! I don't know enough people with blogs!!!! Justin?!!?

soundtrack:
Ray Brown, John Clayton, and Christian McBride- Superbass Vol. 2

'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

Day three.

Still elated.

An interesting development, that.

Even while working cash -alone on a saturday- I was... happy. And working cash is usually comparable to being penned up having nothing to do with instructions to look busy for eight hours. No wait, not comparable... that's what it IS.

Also, I must confess... looking busy at work has turned into teaching myself how to write with my left hand. And I kid you not, I can actually feel myself becoming smarter. Mmhm, the mental fog with which I have been afflicted for the past year or so seems to be lifting. Hoorah!

I just hope I'm not putting myself at any risk... I've heard "southpaws" have a shorter life expectancy.

soundtrack:
Jimi Hendrix- Experience Hendrix

Better times collide with now.

AH! We won the UBC Battle of the Bands!!! AHHH!!!!

My cheeks, they hurt from smiling so much. Sleep deprivation's iron grip on my everything isn't even enough to keep me down. Wow, who knew there were so many different kinds of awesome!?

Life, my friends, is one crazy trip.

soundtrack:
Neko Case- Fox Confessor Brings the Flood

like little robots holding hands.

awww, so cute!

All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows will spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.

I'm gonna make somebody love me

A couple of weeks ago I was struck with a violent stomach flu. I was up an entire night, clutching my porcelain friend. Just as quickly as it came, though, it went, leaving me feeling ravaged and exhausted. But before my immune system had time to recover, a pesky cold began to manifest itself in me. Try as I might with feeble weaponry echinacea and vitamin C, I eventually lost the war. I admitted defeat and was taken hostage, brought into the depths of congestion and snot.

But all the while I was in the best of moods. What gives?

Well let me tell you... (in order of occurence...)

-I had a zippy little rental car to drive around all week. Weee! Liberty.
-after much tribulation, I secured myself two floor tickets to the Franz Ferdinand/Death Cab show in April. Accompanying me shall be my littlest of sisters for her very first rock show.
-I got a raise! 50 more cents an hour? Yes please!
-a really cute guy came into work yesterday and wandered into the Classical music section. Carpe Deum! "Do you need a hand with anything?" "Well it depends, do you know much about classical music?" *smiles* "Yeah, I know a bit..." and so on a half hour later...
-I bought a bass pedal today! The Digitech Bass Squeeze Dual Band Compressor is all mine and for much less thanks to my friend at Long & McQuade. Holla hookups!

The sinus congestion is dissipating and I'm sure the worst has passed. Being a firm believer in a universal balance, I'd say I came out pretty even this week.

soundtrack:
Franz Ferdinand- You Could Have it So Much Better
Johnny Cash- the Legend of

Can't you hear my motored heart?

I hope all y'all got some love.

I, for one, made cookies and cupcakes last night and today went all JohnnyAppleseed on everyone. Valentine's Day isn't about boxes of chocolates and roses and cards, it's a celebration of love!

Love rocks! .... Woo hoo!!! ...

.....

Oh God I'm so alone.

soundtrack:
Foo Fighters -There is Nothing Left to Lose

a cold wild wind has come

buddies...

I'm bored. I keep asking those around me, "so hey! what's new and exciting?!" and actually expecting a riveting answer.

Nothing. zip. nada.

It's the same old same old where ever I may be.

Oh, fun and excitement, where are you? My dwindling youth shan't hold out much longer!!

=reality check= I know I'm not old. I'm just dramatic. and ever so bored. O, WOE IS ME!

Well, at least I'm not incarcerated. Those guys must be ten different kinds of bored. but then again... they're locked up. So what's my excuse?

soundtrack:
Johnny Cash- At Folsom Prison

Lost on an island... faaaaar from hooooome.

Last summer for her birthday I bought my sister Lost: Season 1 on DVD. Before this, I was merely a casual observer of the show and, to be honest, didn't really get what all the hype was about.

Then I watched the first episode.

then the second....

then the third........

Needless to say, it wasn't much longer until I was fully versed in the ways of Lost. This season I have white-knuckledly followed along, even in spite of my Wednesday night classes last term!

So, in honour of the show's return from holiday reruns, I decided to throw my Lost family a party. Brace yourselves, it gets pretty awesome.

On the menu:
Charlie and Claire's peanut butter cookies
Sun and Jin's sashimi
John Locke's boars in a blanket
Hurley's twinkies
Walt's [polar] bear gummies
Kate's tropical fruits (mango, guava, papaya, starfruit, dragonfruit, pineapple, kiwi)

and, of course,

"Oceanic Air" honey roasted peanuts.

We had colourful leis around our necks and parasols in our fruity drinks.

So.

Awesome.

and the show was good, too.

My get up and go must've got up and went.

It's quite apparent that I haven't been in any hurry to return to regular blogging, I'm sure, but with the holiday season boxed up and placed into storage, my life can assume its customary break-neck pace.

Hah.

Truth be told, I've been waiting until I was good and angry to make my triumphant return. For the entire duration of my car ride from work I stewed together all the juicy, biting remarks and boiled over a cornucopia of outrages, work-related and otherwise. It all amounted to one writhingly bitter concoction which would've indubitably poisonstricken any consumer to his death!

And I simply can't have that happening. Who would read my blog? Every performer needs an audience.

Ultimately, I conceded that the golden rule does apply to everyone (although not everyone shows me the same courtesy) and came to my apparent sensitive senses. Bruised ego aside, my business is not that of anyone else's. Which, ironically, is what gets me into trouble in the first place.

Alas, I now sit in this hole I have dug for myself without the face to ask for a hand. The world goes on above my head while I'm alone and in the dark. But that's what I want it.

Really?

Soundtrack:
Weather Report- Heavy Weather
Aerosmith- Greatest Hits
Immaculate Machine- Ones and Zeroes
[January 28th @ the Railway Club. Shukov is humbly opening an incredible night of Vancouver talents Jonathan Inc, In Medias Res and Immaculate Machine.]

You've got Maelstrom.

A couple of days ago I momentarily awoke from my slumber to a feeling of concentrated aching on my ankle. Dismissing it as a new somnolently self-inflicted bruise, I fell back asleep. Morning came and with it the realization that something foul was afoot: something foul was on my foot! Upon closer inspection the "bruise" was not a bruise at all, but an insect bite, most likely arachnoid. Thinking nothing of it, I went about my day addressing Christmas shopping and addressing Christmas shoppers. But as the hours ticked by I became increasingly aware of the bump which by that time had swollen to a lump on my ankle. Afraid it could be an allergic reaction, I had the wherewithall to see a doctor who checked my foot and my temperature. The diagnosis: you have an infection and a fever. Take these antibiotics. If the swelling continues up your leg, go to the hospital.

So the good news is that I get to keep my leg, despite all the limping and hobbling it causes me to do.

The bad news is that I have take antibiotics and have a furious storm of pain.

But I got a new phone... which does make me feel better in a shallow, commercial way.

Soundtrack:
Blockhead- Music by Cavelight
Arvo Part- Te Deum

It's just too easy.

Ronald MacDonald is charged with stealing from Wendy's.

Ms. Lucky

Whistler was fun. The kids were cool and teaching them wasn't all that bad. The dreaded performance of the coaches wasn't a complete disaster, either. We played "All Blues" which I love and have played in the past and then a Cmaj-Bb7 bossa nova vamp. Almost all of the other coaches were jazz musicians which turned out to be really cool... listening to them talk and impart with their stories got me excited about jazz again. So when I got back I dusted off an old copy of "The History of Jazz" by Ted Gioia and finally cracked the spine. It's fascinating stuff! Now I'm all raring to embark upon a musical expedition through the past 100 years or so... aka what four semesters of music history class never taught me. Lucky me I work at a record shop so my readings are being supplemented with really great music.

A NEW HOPE

Speaking of buying luck...

A while back I saw an Esquire magazine cover featuring easyontheeyes Ewan McGregor.


I subsequently became hell-bent on buying that very beltbuckle.

I found out it's by an L.A. designer by the name of
Han Cholo.

Turns out the Han Cholo Blaster buckle is only available from the Han Cholo boutique in L.A..... and at the modest price of $900.

Giving up hope, I sought retail therapy in the form of other belt buckles from ebay. They weren't THE ONE, but I wasn't going to get THE ONE unless I won the lottery, flew down to L.A. and bought said ONE.

But...

Today I was feeling lucky. Not just any kind of lucky, but BUYING LUCKY... I began to peruse the many pages of Star Wars belt buckles. Lo and behold, there it was! My obsession! And for $30, it was mine. Within a week I shall be seen sporting, in my humble opinion, the most awesome belt buckle ever.

Oh the irony, listening to the Blues is proving to be quite the upper.

Soundtrack:
Bessie Smith- Downhearted Blues
Leadbelly- Absolutely the Best
John Lee Hooker- Best of 1965-1974
Taj Mahal- Martin Scorsese Presents

Opus Pocus

So I'm actually going to Whistler tomorrow for this bass coach gig. Yeah, I'm freaked. I haven't really played any jazz for a few years so I've got this big red flag waving in front of my face screaming: DOOM! FAILURE STRAIGHT AHEAD! HYOOOMILIAAAAAATION!

oh geez.

but I'm praying I'll know a thing or two more than those high school kids. Here's hoping there aren't any prodigies in the bunch.

Today at work some thugz4life came up to my till. They were paying for some car stereo something or other in ca$h... over a $1,000 of it. The first bill I count is an obvious-as-all-get-out fake. I give my whole schpiel about "sorry, this is counterfeit." They're all like, "aww shhhyiiiiii- are you serious? So and so is gonna get the [poopy] kicked out of him." He hands me another bill and as I'm counting he comments on my hawk-eyes.

"These are actually my x-ray specs," I jest. Of course that turned out to be an accidental invitation for more unwanted comments as if I wasn't flustered enough trying to count $1,000 in 20s. So I hand him his change, all $16.80 of it, to which he replies, "nah, keep it. That's your tip for not calling the cops."

The money sat on the counter for a while as I decided what I should do with it. I thought about putting it back in my till because something about taking it felt so wrong. But then my till would've been $16.80 over, and we can't have that, now can we?

So I bought myself some CDs.

The moral of the story is: don't call the cops when a suspected drug dealer hands you a fake 20.

Soundtrack:
Jaco Pastorius- Self titled
Ray Brown- Jazz Cello

It's the final countdown.

[Real exerpt taken from the lives of Johanna E. Polkki, sister Susanna E. and brother Markus M. J.]

[living room. S.E. on couch. M.M.J. leaning on door post. J.E. looking so fine]

[playfully all up in J.E.'s grill.]
S.E. Markie! Jo was in ESL!

[J.E. pointing at S.E., indignant.]
J.E. SO WAS HER!

[pause. digestion of sheer spontaneous perfection. cry-laughter ensues.]

[close-up on J.E. wink, thumbs up. cut. print.]

soundtrack:
Europe- Best of

It's gonna rain.

Just a quick post as I wait and wait.

If you aren't doing anything this Thursday and live in the lower mainland of Vancouver, answer me these questions three:

1) want to see a show?

2) do you like music?

3) are you awesome?

if you answered "yes" to ALL of these questions, then COME ON DOWN to the marine club where local talent shall be for your viewing/listening pleasure.

Thursday Nov 3rd. doors at 9, show at 10. seven dollars. 573 Homer St. Vancouver.

On another equally as awesome note, my beloved x-files will make its triumphant return to syndication not Sunday nights at midnight, NO! but at the much more accessible hour of 10pm

every.

single.

night...

of the week. yes, yes... good has been done here.

soundtrack:
Do Make Say Think- Winter Hymn Country Hymn Secret Hymn

Tea in the Sahara. I mean esophagus.

I can't seem to shake this sickness. I've been plagued with one ailment or another for weeks on end. Just when I think my health is almost restored I am dealt another swift blow to the immune system and inevitably succumb.

Now it's a cough. I've almost lost my voice a few times, too. Awesome.

Also awesome: I have to be at work for 10 (and by awesome I mean completely UNawesome). Hence, a mug full of NeoCitron.

So any Conan O'Brien fans out there? I myself am ten shades shy of obsessed. So I'm sure you can imagine how tickled pink I've been with Conan's recent love of Finland and all things Finnish (read: me). Finland loves Conan, too. He's even been featured in political ad campaigns for current prime minister Tarja Halonen... with whom he shares a striking resemblence....


Coincedence? Perhaps. or is "Conan O'Brien" really Koonan Oprainen???

You decide.

Soundtrack:
the Police- Synchronicity

Her disappearing theme.

So no Whistler band camp for me this weekend. Thank you BCTF. Thank you for having me lose out on three days' worth of pay for nothing.

Years out of high school and it's still screwing me over. How does that happen?!

I slept for over 12 hours yesterday. Didn't even get out of bed until almost 1:30. Good thing I have absolutely no plans for this weekend. Yeah, really good thing.

Revised plans for this weekend:
#1- make some noise
#2- make some more noise
#3-go forwards, not backwards. upwards, not downwards. and twirling... always twirling.

Soundtrack:
Arcade Fire- Arcade Fire
the Notwist- Neon Golden
Broken Social Scene- Broken Social Scene

***anyone have an extra ticket to the Nov. 13 BSS show???*** I can't believe it sold out already and I can't make the recently added earlier-that-same-day-all-ages show.

I just wanna be on fire.

I don't want to blog but my blasted resolve is catapulting me forward.

What's up, momentum?!

So I'm bass coaching it up at band camp this weekend. Not a bad gig... I'm getting paid to go to Whistler to play bass. Sign me up. Oh I already am. Awesome.

I like this idea of being paid to play music. I'm hoping it'll catch on. Also, groupies. Those are a good idea, too.

Good idea: seeing Feist/Jason Collett/New Buffalo at the Commodore last Wednesday.
Bad idea: walking into things (i.e. walls, doors, people). Also, falling down.
Good idea: getting paid to play music.
Bad idea: playing music at 2am.
Good idea: trying to save money.
Bad idea: spending it anyway on coffee, DVD's, and vintage belt buckles from ebay.
Good idea: staying up to watch X-Files on a Sunday night.
Bad idea: realizing X-Files has been taken out of syndication and crying a little.
Good idea: planning on going to bed early tonight.
Bad idea: not actually doing that (even though I have an 8am Victoria-bound ferry to catch).
Good idea: eating the Thanksgiving dinner to end all Thanksgiving dinners.
Bad idea: continuing to write this stupid post which shouldn't have been posted in the first place because of its staggering stupidity and overall regrettability.

Ok I think I'm done.

Oh, wait.

No, yeah. Really. I'm done.

Soundtrack:
Jason Collett- Idols of Exile
the Who- Who's Next

Ain't it just like the night to play tricks?

So we meet again, 3 am. Hah, we're hardly strangers.

C'mon.

I don't really have any news to report.... no cute puppies encountered... no major fashion investments made... no end to my CD buying affliction...

Doo doo doooo... bapbapba daaaaa....

Oh who am I kidding?! Of course I have news. I'm suprised I managed to keep a straight face for this long. Seriously.

His name is Ricky. We met just this Tuesday, so we'll have to see how it goes.... but.... [fingers crossed]... I think he might be *the one*. (This is a pretty good picture of him. Hott, eh?)

[sigh]

I know, I know...

I really ought to get out more.

Soundtrack:
Bob Dylan- Blonde on Blonde
Sigur Ros- Takk
Domakesaythink- Winter Hymn Country Hymn Secret Hymn

It ain't necessarily so.

So after the initial shock and vomiting subsided, I came to the conclusion that maybe school won't be so bad this term.

I thought you HAAAAAAATE school. Why the change of heart?! You will ask.

WELL.

As part of my conversational French class we'll be learning about, obviously, French culture. So every week my professeur will be bringing in a different kind of cheese because "cheese is such an important part of French culture."

Vive la France!

J'apporterai le vin...

Soundtrack:
Architecture in Helsinki- Fingers Crossed
Ray Brown- SuperBass Vol. 2

The pessimism in me yawns.

It is in a state of disbelief and stinging regret that I write this to you now. Man alive, how am I back at my same old college?! This vexes me so, not because I don't know the answer, but because I KNOW the answer. After a spring of burgeoning opportunities and a summer of endless possibilities I've arrived at fall and with it the shriveling up and dying of said opportunities and possibilities. What's left is what was there before. The traceable bare branches of routine and stagnation; the outline of a big ol' RUT.

Huff.

Pout.

Soundtrack:
Reindeer Section- Son of Evil Reindeer
Mull Historical Society- Us
(have I stopped buying CDs? Yeah, no.)

Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds, dreaming aloud.

There's something so calming yet paralyzingly electric about nighttime. I love it.

O, nights like these awaken every idle sense. Every creak and moan is heard; every shiver and moving shadow is acknowledged. I thought I was alone?

Yes, for a few short hours I'm the only one awake; I can do anything my bleeding heart desires with no one to tell me otherwise.

The isolation of my consciousness is company enough when insomnia transmogrifies from affliction to inclination.

Tonight I am Johanna's self-inflicting brain.

Song of Contentment

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

I have a problem.... I buy too many CDs.

and it doesn't help that I get a nice discount at work. or that I've become so desensitized to consumerism and money. or that I have nothing to do at work except peruse the electronic catalogue to see what we have in stock.

In the span of the past 7 days I've bought:

Sufjan Stevens- Say Yes! to Michigan ('cause I don't have it)
Stars- Nightsongs LP ('cause I didn't want some loser to buy it)
New Buffalo- Last Beautiful Day ('cause I love all things arts&crafts)
In-Flight Safety- Vacation Land ('cause I'd forgotten about them but then was reminded)
Foo Fighters- In Your Honour ('cause I saw a show on them and fell in love again)
New Pornographers- Twin Cinema ('cause it's so good. and it was the last copy we had)

...and the X-Files movie on DVD ('cause Fox Mulder is the standard by which I judge all men. and I only have it on VHS)

and those are just the ones I've purchased for myself. in the past week.

Discount or not, this is getting out of hand. I don't even have time to listen to one before I've bought another! I've got a CD wallet full of CDs I have yet to give a proper listening. It's so excessive... so compulsive... so financially irresponsible...

Oh but sooooo satisfying. Retail therapy is going to ruin me while I'm off enjoying my bounty. At least I'll have a killer soundtrack to accompany my spiral downwards.

If you'd only try; It's so easy.

Could there BE a better way to spend a semi-day off? I challenge the thought and the thought backs down.

Ah yes, the joys of shift-work. Not having to report to duty until 5pm leaves me with a veritable cornucopia of leisure techniques to employ. Such as sleeping in; Eating a delicious breakfast of egg scramble at 12:30; Clasping mug after Accessories Are Necessities! mug of slow-steeped loose leaf English Afternoon tea from London; Playing one of my favourite piano pieces, Zdenko Fibich's "Poem," just as I would have it. Man ALIVE. I feel good. Even the plot lines on Days of our Lives make sense!

Yes.

Soundtrack:
New Buffalo- Last Beautiful Day

The world I know is a world too slow.

I've been trying to think of something clever and witty to blog about for an hour.

I thought to myself, Maybe I ought to write something personal and introspective? But all words of confessional self-expression were backspaced into intangible oblivion.

Perhaps another route, then? A limerick or silly poem? But the rhythms and rhymes were nowhere to be found.

It would appear as though I've come to an impasse: the proverbial writer's block. All eloquence and acuity left unannounced without so much as a forwarding address. So all that remains is a desire to say something but what? Can't say. To whom? It's irrelevant! For what purpose? Do I need one?

So far it's taken me 121 words to say nothing.

How many more will it take for me to say anything at all? No word yet.

Soundtrack:
Esthero- Breath from Another

Darlin' don't you go and cut my hair.

I should've taken one look at her shoes and ran.

Kristie was her name, and ruining my hair was apparently on her agenda that day.

A few things tipped me off something wasn't right:

1. her jarring resemblance to Sharon Osbourne.... on crack;
2. her ever-changing accent;
3. she sprayed me with water while washing my hair... twice;
4. she cut herself while cutting my hair... and then proceeded to sing "Oops, I did it again;"
5. she hit me on the head with her blowdryer... thrice.

Anxiety beaded on my forehead. There wasn't a round brush in sight. All attempts of styling my hair with anything but a roundbrush have ended in failure. This time was no different.

I left the salon appalled at my 90's throwback hairstyle. It's not the retro I had in mind. C'mon. The 90's will never be cool. They weren't even cool in the 90's.

But hairspray can only do so much. In humid Vancouver it doesn't really do anything. So fear not, my like-aesthetically-minded friends, I shook it off and shook it out. Besides, the "just got out of bed" look is always hott, even if it took an hour and a half in the salon to achieve.

Soundtrack:
Pavement- Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
Now It's Overhead- Now It's Overhead

I (heart) TV

This evening I had every intention of doing my laundry. I got home just after 6pm so I figured I had plenty of time. That is... until I sat down to watch TV.

And let me tell you... Fox's animation domination dominated more than just their Sunday night line-up... it took over my entire evening/alotted laundry time. Before I knew it hours had slipped away.

How can this happen?! Precious moments I could have spent laughing with/at my siblings... conversing with a good friend... playing music... or... I dunno... doing my laundry. All those minutes gone forever... wasted away in front of the teeeeveee... lost in patterns of red blue and green.

But oh man Family Guy was totally worth it.

And whoa, X-Files is almost on. I was a full-out X-Phile back in the day... I have action figures and even the "I WANT TO BELIEVE" poster. Also wanted: love interest for Jo. Anyone besides Agent Fox Mulder need not apply.

soundtrack:
Paul Anka- Rock Swings

He's the pilot.

Whoa. Talk about massive life-altering split-second decisions.

I've had enough. I'm taking a year off from school. This epiphany came to me after a breakdown a long time in the making. It's like that one scene in the movie Pi when Max is in the subway station and having a headache which escalates until finally everything goes blank. My word, it's crystal clear!

But in my version, I was at home on the computer remembering how much I hate school. I've been learning it up since I was 4 years old and in English preparatory school (Yup, I was in ESL). Going away to university this September was simply not happening. So... it's on hold. Y'know... while I accumulate enough moo-lah to make it happen.

So it looks like all y'all are stuck with me for the time being. For now, I'm recouperating from months of insomnia and mind-numbing axieties in Victoria. Childhood friends are good for the soul.

and so is ice cream. So... I'm gonna go grab me some soulfood.

Soundtrack:
the Notwist- Neon Golden
Sufjan Stevens- Illinoise

Yeah, you know you gotta help me out.

I think I'm developing an ulcer.

So research shows that I find watching television much more condusive to sleeping than a dark, quiet room and a big bed. My ears and mind are occupied until the last minute of consciousness whereas in the latter I've only the constant whirring of my brain to lull me to sleep WHICH IT DOES NOT DO.

(An old tale, it's true, but so current.)

No breakthroughs have occured. If anything, my situation has gotten worse. Take now, for instance, I slept poorly last night and had to work for a grueling 8 hours after which I went out for dinner and a walk. For all accounts and purposes, I should be passed out somewhere, ANYWHERE, and reaping the fruits of my bountiful dreams! Alas, it is not so. Instead, I sit here bleary eyed, staring at my computer in search of a way. I don't know how I'm gonna pull this off.

Bottom line: I need money and I'm running out of time. I've tried the lottery route, but the girl who wins everything hasn't won anything in quite a while. Can't someone throw me a fricken' bone here?!

Yup, I'm pretty sure I'm developing an ulcer.

Soundtrack:
All Stars- Older Slower Softer

Just hear it in the sound of time a-passing

I've always had trouble sleeping, you know...

Lately it's come more frequently. Almost every night. And more recently coupled with insufferable indigestion. Yes, heart burn would be a very appropriate term.

I envy those who can fall asleep in an instant... the ones whose consciousness is lost as soon as his/her head hits a pillow. Unfortunately for me, that's the time my brain decides to go into overdrive.

And the days and nights just keep coming. Next thing you know it's Christmas. I like jazzy caroles.

I've seen some good shows lately. I saw Built to Spill. Those guys are legendary. They were so great. The audience wasn't... but they rarely are. More recently I saw Apostle of Hustle. It was my second time, but their first as headliners. They proved to me that Tilly and the Wall aren't the only band around employing a tapdancing percussionist.

The Ditty Bops are playing at Richard's on Sunday. Very cool group, I'm excited and definitely going, but as it stands, solo. Anyone care to remedy the situation?

I think I've reached that point in the evening where I reconcile myself to two gravol and a glass of water. Bottoms up! Cheers! Sante! Kippis!

Soundtrack:
the Who- Greatest Hits

What if I got it wrong?

Some thoughts...

Tonight I saw an advanced screening of "Batman Begins." Admittedly, I've never partaken in the time-honoured Batman franchise, but I thought "hey, free movie," and gave it a go. Good idea, Jo, goooood idea. Mostly because that was a good movie. Also, free. And advanced. But mostly because it was a good movie. And directed by Christopher Nolan, no less! who's one of my favourites.

Speaking of favourites, but in this case former, Coldplay's new album came out on Tuesday. Having been particularly indifferent to their burgeoning franchise for the past couple of years, my anticipation of this release was next to none. Nevertheless, the first thing I did when I got into work on Tuesday was buy it. (Old rabidly obsessive habits die hard, apparently.) What I can't understand is how one Chris Martin can equate "reinventing the wheel" to releasing an album of fillers. What's it filling? Right now, it's taking up space on my CD shelf.

Regardless,

Soundtrack:
Coldplay- X&Y (but only track 4. I have to grudgingly admit that "fix you" is a fantastic song.)

Blackbird singin' in the dead of night.

Ah yes, Monday... the day when the work week starts anew for most. BUT NOT FOR ME as I had the day off and every intention to sleep in as much as I liked. Unbeknownst to me, residential crows had an entirely different agenda.....

That's right my friends. At approximately 5:21 am, I awoke to the yowling of those harbingers of doom. Granted, the sound was undoubtedly exacerbated by my open window, but rest was not in the stars for me. For even as I closed the window and nestled back into the warmths of bed, another aural annoyance arose... and once again a winged foe got in the way of me and my dreams. This time a mosquito. As much as I would like to think that I'd fight for my right to dreeeeeeeeam, at 5:21am I'd admit defeat to anything. Plus, my dreams are always bizarre and arguably not worth having in the first place. So I seceded from my rightful place in bed and resigned myself in front of the television... and ended up falling asleep on the couch anyway. Funny how life has a way of righting itself, no?

I had a dream the other night that I was CD shopping with my good friend Leslie Feist. She had ordered a copy of her own CD, but it was unfortunately unavailable due to poor sales. Much "do you even know who I am?!" ensued. Moral of the story: don't go CD shopping with Leslie Feist as it could result in an embarrassing scene.

Soundtrack:
KC Accidental- Captured Anthems for an Empty Bathtub

Time keeps creepin'

I'm jetlagged [read:tired]. I must still be operating in EST, because I should NOT be this tired this early in the evening.

Toronto was awesome. From the little though intense time I spent there, I came to the conclusion that I am inherently a Torontonian... like it was engrained in me from birth. Even though I've lived in Vancouver for almost ten years, in the few days I was in Toronto I felt more at home. Funny, no? I don't expect to be moving over there any time soon, though. Montreal on the other hand....

Ok ok... so I have the whole university thing down to two [aside: How spoiled am I that I get to choose between the best music schools in Canada?!]. So out of the four that admitted me (McGill, UBC, U of Toronto, UVIC) I've narrowed it down to McGill and UBC. The former has, without a doubt, the most prestigious program. Every music student I've talked to who's attended the latter has cautioned against it. At this point in the game, the only thing keeping UBC in it is the $500 "scholarship" [read: bribe] and the ease with which I could transfer all of my credits from college. But since when, in the history of my existence, have I EVER opted for the easy route? Never. I always complicate things for myself. ay-ell-dub-bel-you-ay-why-ess. yes. maybe no? (bonus points to whomever correctly cites the reference!!!!)

Now there's a choose your own adventure if I ever saw one.

SO. I have until tomorrow to accept or decline UBC's offer of admittance. Tomorrow I will make my biggest decision to date. But not yet. Now I sleep.


Soundtrack:
Fiery Furnaces- Blueberry Boat
Deerhoof- Apple O'

speaking of CDs... the Music manager at my store often plays this one that I can now safely say is my number one most hated CD of all time... Live @ Filmore by Lucinda Williams. I'd say it's pretty much the worst thing ever. Her voice really wouldn't be so bad if only she didn't use it. at all. It honestly makes me nauseous.

I'm goin' mobile

So I'm leaving for a whirlwind "vacation" in eastern Canada on Tuesday night and golly, am I ever thrilled!

I'll be kicking things off in Toronto with a visit to my grandparents before they jet to Finland. Then I'm off to Ottawa in time to watch the much-anticipated CSI season finale THREE HOURS before all y'all westcoast suckaz. Werd. But at the crack of the next day's dawn, I'm off to McGill, Montreal, to meet up with..... [much excitement].... [freaking my freak out]..... Eric Chappell, bass playa extraordinaire, for a private lesson! Wowzers! And also meeting with many reps at McGill to chitchat, but that's not as exciting. Sounds busy -I know!- but I'll have time to run amuck in Montreal, indubitably. But not forever, because then I'm off to Haliburton to relax cottage-style. Then it's full-circle back to my place-o'-birth, Toronto, for a couple of days of pollution-filled bigcity chaos. All this in 7 days. Ain't it grand? YES!

Whew. I'm getting exhausted just thinking about it! But much fun will be had on my academic-fact-finding-mission-guised-whirlwind-vacation. It's much overdue.

50,000 watts of comedy

The time has almost come.

Newsradio seasons one and two are coming out on DVD on May 24th. Oh, happy day.



Yessssssssssssssssssssssss! *fist pumps*

Sufferin' Succotash! It's Sufjan Stevens!

And yes, true to form, I had to look up "succotash" in the dictionary. But for a headline like that, I'd say it's worth it! Yes yes. Sufjan Stevens is a-coming 'round the mountains to Richard's on July 24th.

Another interesting development, UBC wants me too. They even tried to bribe me with a $500 scholarship "in recognition of [my] superior achievement and potential." Hot damn. I'm not gonna go, but it's always nice to hear those words. How glad am I that I don't play the piano or sing soprano? (madd props to Melinda) So glad. No competition= I'm a hott commodity. Awesome.

Ahhh... to be in a place in life where university acceptance letters are a regular occurrence. I love it... My braggadocio almost seems justified. Yeeeeeup. It feels pretty good to be Jo these days.

Soundtrack:
the Who- Who's Next

Hail to the Thief

Some guy tried to steal a $25 item from my store today. He made a run for it, and then tried to bribe the guy who caught him (an amazingly fast a&b sound personal electronics employee) with $1000 to let him go. It made my day a little bit more interesting... talking to cops... writing down statements... talking to cops.... ahhh gotta love cops. Speaking of hot cops... who's excited about the CSI season finale? Oh that would be me. Quentin Tarantino is directing the 2-hour ocular smorgasbord. Nothing is coming between me and my television on May 19. Nothing.

So for an anti-social misanthrope such as myself, there is nothing more seemingly impossible than making new friends. And yet, by some unperceivable cosmic powers, it happens. I won't complain. In fact, I think it a grand occurrence. Good company, afterall, is hard to come by. On a related note, it looks like I'll be flying out to Toronto and Montreal next month for some long overdue fun times. AND FUN TIMES THEY SHALL BE.

Girls just wanna have fu-un.

oh and also, I've just been informed that I've been accepted into the Faculty of Music at the University of Toronto. MMhmm. Alright. Ain't nothing gonna stop me now.


soundtrack:
Death Cab for Cutie- We Have the Facts and We're Voting YES
the Album Leaf- In a Safe Place
(Jimmy LaValle et al royally blew me away last weekend. Speaking of royally being blown away at shows, does anyone know how a girl could get her hands on some tickets for a sold-out Weakerthans/Constantines/Jonathan Inc show??? Ok, segues DONE.)